Nowhere Landing

Moved to Tumblr

2010-11-23T20:13:00.001-08:00

http://whereideasgotodie.tumblr.com

Chill

2010-04-23T17:08:00.001-07:00

Bulletin

2009-12-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

Flossing Associate Phobia

2009-11-30T01:25:00.000-08:00

I always think bits will fly across the room on me. We went camping, and she was like, "Where am I going to floss?" I said, "There's a whole forest to floss in!" But we ended up flossing together anyways. It wasn't so bad actually, it I didn't feel like flossing in a room with all the trees and open air.

Money Shot

2009-11-19T08:44:00.000-08:00

A homeless man masturbating onto an ATM machine.

Will to La Brea

2009-11-10T18:16:00.000-08:00

1017: Damn. We are already in the shade again.

1016: I hate Daylight Savings Time. I'm going to move to Arizona.

1017: Have you ever been to Arizona?

(BBQ smell)

1016: After I die, I want my body to sink into the La Brea Tar Pits.

1017: Why does it matter what happens to you after you die? You'll be dead.

1016: I don't want to take up any space. No headstone, no grave.

1017: Why not be cremated?

1016: It's bad for the environment.

1017: Oh, come on.

(Frisbee)

1016: I want them to put in my possessions too, for future archeologists.

1017: Why does it matter? You'll be dead.

1016: It doesn't matter what I am, it's what can I do as a dead person. Right?

1017:Yeah, yeah.

1016: After they harvest my organs of course.

(Breeze)

1016: I just don't want to take up any space.

For Reference

2009-11-06T09:37:00.000-08:00

Reccd

2009-11-02T23:19:00.000-08:00

NWL Mix 001 - Female Japanese Vocalist I

2009-10-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

Download (Right Click Save As)

The Dinosaurs

2009-10-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

In a Wallmart daze, we pulled out of the lot and were stopped at an intersection. An old hispanic man with a Ninja Turtles shirt sat on crate on the corner. He had waved to us earlier, and approached the car wanting to initiate contact. I rolled the window down halfway:

"I just was talking to my friend, and I said 'We were here first' and he was like 'What about the dinosaurs?' and I was like- 'Man, the dinosaurs were reckless!'

A Conversation

2009-10-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

I loved auditioning, once I brought a beanie baby. “What's with the beanie baby?” they asked. “It's my fucking good luck beanie baby!”
└ You faggot!

I ripped the head off. It was stupid, not even a Crest Whitening Strips commercial.
└ I hope they don't outlaw gay marriage.

I want all gays to have a bad time.
└ I won't marry you if you keep talking like that.

I wouldn't love our kid if it were gay.... I would love our kid if it were black, gay or retarded.
└ I had an uncle who was gay, he committed suicide. It was a time when it wasn't okay, y'know?

Isolated cultures of men believe sex is evil, so they just fuck each other because women steal their sperm. When the boys go on a journey to become a man, like bringing back a lion head or some crazy shit, they eat the cum of the elders of the tribe.
└That's the only way to pass it on.

They are only twelve, its pretty hot!
└Equal rights for all. Let's get orange juice from 7-11 and listen to jazz fusion.

From New Orleans: A Mysterious Message

2009-10-19T21:43:00.000-07:00

The Morning Commute

2009-10-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

Admiring the cloudscape through my windshield at 100mph while listening to the most beautiful song in existence, a lifted rape-van with monster truck wheels passes me. Stopping to pee was the best decision I've ever made.

What movie is this from?

2009-10-14T14:41:00.000-07:00

A knife fight during a storm at midnight. Blood mixes with the pouring rain.

Dream 001

2009-10-13T18:20:00.000-07:00

I met Obama last night. He was serving coffee as a part of a "meet with with the common man" photo-op. He poured me coffee and offered a handshake. I was embarrassed because my hand was wet but he gave me a warm smile. He is a handsome man.

Nachos

2009-10-12T19:07:00.000-07:00

I have nacho cheese at home, you're not invited.
Ooh!
I just wanted to know- is it a little can or a quantity?
You can come.
Do you have chips?

John Woke Up to Strangulation

2009-10-12T01:20:00.000-07:00

Is John home? He walks out of John's room. He's holding a plate of food. I reach for the machete here, but I'm like naaahh. Would have been easy. I would have killed him, but I had work the next day. A plate of microwave food, and his white girl friend, she got scared, I don't know these people. They wanted the John next door. All for a car stereo.

Barbie wears a beer sleeve

2009-10-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

It was a hot night in Hawaii.